If you haven’t had sex before, your mind might be going crazy trying to think about what it actually feels like to have sex with someone, and you’ll most likely want to know what it’s like first before you do it, so that you’re prepared and know what to expect.
When it comes to talking about what sex feels like, the first thing to say is the way that people have sex is completely different, the way people feel when they have sex is different from one another, and you will never be able to fully compare the way you feel when you have sex, to the way someone else does.
However, saying that probably doesn’t help you when you’re asking the question, “what does sex feel like?”. Although, it’s incredibly important to know that whatever you experience when you have sex is unique to you and the person you’re having sex with, and it shouldn’t be compared.
Nonetheless, there are some things that most people experience (albeit in unique ways) when they have sex, and in this article, we’re going to share them with you! So, let’s jump into it so you can have a better idea of what to expect when you dive into bed with someone for the first time!
Sex feels different for everyone, just like pretty much everything else! For some people, they might experience pain at first but then intense pleasure, but others might experience no pain but not find it that pleasurable - it’s a completely personal experience and whatever happens for you is normal (as long as it’s not incredibly painful - then there may be a problem).
Although this will be mentioned later on in greater detail, it’s important to also know that not everyone can orgasm from penetrative sex alone, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t climax when you first have sex.
Your first time having sex might be like a dream, with the whole thing being romantic and pleasurable. However, most of the time, when people are having sex for the first time, it feels strange and unknown. It might be clumsy and it’s normal if it’s feeling like it’s a bit odd, because you’re experiencing something for the first time.
Either when you’re about to have sex or when you’re actually having sex, you will most likely experience a tingling kind of sensation in and around your vulva. This is a pleasant sensation that should feel good.
It’s your body’s way of telling you that it’s ready to get busy and that it likes the person you’re with! You will have probably already experienced this sensation when you’ve been turned on before.
Whether it’s nerves or a reaction to the pleasure you’re receiving, you will most likely experience the feeling of having butterflies before you have sex, and sometimes even when you have sex. This is a good feeling, not like the kind of feeling you get before an exam! If this happens, your stomach and possibly even your vulva will feel like it’s fluttering.
You need to be aware of the fact that you need to warm up first. When you’re engaging in foreplay, your body will let you know when it’s feeling like penetration because you’ll be wet, and feel all hot and heavy. It’s vital that you don’t have sex until you’re feeling like you’re ready for it, otherwise, it will be a tight fit and it could be painful.
Of course, you may have had oral sex performed on you before this point, but the feeling of having a tongue/mouth on your vulva is completely different from anything you will have experienced before by yourself or with a sex toy. As your sex partner runs their tongue over your vulva, it might feel electric - in an enjoyable way, of course!
When you have sex for the first time, you may experience pain when your partner initially penetrates you. A little pain is actually quite normal, especially the first time you have sex. However, be aware that if it’s too painful or if the pain persists, there could be an underlying problem. Using lube helps, but if you're feeling like you’re in too much pain, stop.
When you’re first getting penetrated, even when your partner puts only the tip of his penis inside you, it will feel quite tight. You might not even be sure if it’s going to fit, but as long as you were ready beforehand and you’re relaxed, it will ease you without any problems. If you continue to find it difficult to fit your partner’s penis inside you, you might like to use lube or practice foreplay more.
Once your partner’s penis is fully in your vagina, it should feel like the perfect fit. Your bodies should intertwine perfectly with each other and you’ll no longer feel like he’s too big inside you. You should experience pleasure at every stroke.
When you’re having sex, you will sense pleasure rippling throughout your body. This pleasure won’t only occur in the area of your vulva, but it will be up and down your body, feeling like it’s actually rippling through your body with every stroke. This rippling sensation will come to a head when you climax, with an orgasm acting like a little earthquake in your body.
When your partner is inside you and you’re having sex, you will feel like your vulva, and the entirety of your body is being filled with something hot. Your vulva will feel warm, and this warmth will increase the entire time you’re having sex. Although this is hard to describe, it’s a really good feeling.
It won't only be your vulva that feels like it’s warm, your entire body will actually be warm because of your physical exertion and your partner’s physical exertion, therefore, you will get sweaty! You’ll both be hot and sweaty, with the heat rising more and more before you reach climax, and then afterward you will finally get a chance to breathe.
Since you’re moving around so much during sex, you’re probably nervous and you’re experiencing such intense pleasure for the first time, you will feel lightheaded. You might also feel completely out of it, with no thoughts in your head at all, just a feeling of complete euphoria.
Once you’ve climaxed, make sure you don’t get up too fast because you’ll be dizzy and will most likely fall over!
A lot of people tend to say that sex feels like they are full, or they are being filled - in a good way! The feeling of fullness obviously comes from the fact that you have a penis inside your vagina, whereas typically you don’t and therefore you normally feel empty!
As mentioned, this feeling of fullness is supposed to make you feel full in a good way, and shouldn’t ever feel like it’s going in too far or causing too much pain.
Not all women orgasm from penetrative sex, so do be aware of the fact that even if you have really good sex, you might not orgasm. If you feel frustrated or let down if you don’t orgasm, you can either choose to orgasm by yourself or get your partner to help you orgasm orally afterward.
Although sex isn’t all about the orgasms, that is what it leads up to, and when you orgasm, you will experience something incredible! It’s actually hard to describe the feeling of an orgasm, but you are euphoric for a moment and after getting so frustrated during sex, you might feel empty after releasing yourself and experiencing such incredible pleasure.
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Even if you didn’t feel any pain during sex, you might feel sore after having sex. After all, you have just had a penis inside of you! So, take care of yourself afterward, and don’t do anything that would further irritate your vulva if it is sore.
Although there seems to be a well-known, old-fashioned narrative that a woman’s vagina loosens after sex, this isn’t the case. In fact, after a woman loses her virginity, nothing about her body actually changes.
The hymen may break if it hasn’t already, but apart from that, there’s no real change.
Once you’ve finished having sex, the first thing you need to do is go to the toilet and pee (both the man and woman) to reduce the risk of infections, like UTI’s. It’s also a good idea to shower to get any sticky stuff off you, and drink some water to rehydrate!
There is no normal - some couples might go for 10 rounds, others might only be able to handle one. Typically, people will have sex once and then stop for at least a few hours before having sex again. This allows time for the man to be able to become erect again after ejaculating.
Everyone is different, and research has shown that people have sex from anywhere between 33 seconds to 44 minutes. However, as this is such a wide-ranging time frame, other research within The Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that the ideal timeframe for sex to last is between 7 - 15 minutes.
It’s really up to you if you want to consider yourself a virgin or not. Some people consider themselves not a virgin if they engage in oral sex or foreplay, whereas others simply don’t like or agree with the concept of virginity at all.
So, it really is completely up to you! However, technically, if we were to look at in the traditional sense of what a virgin is, if a penis has been inside your vagina (even if just a small way in), you aren’t a virgin anymore.
If you’re thinking about having sex for the first time, or you’re curious about what sex feels like for other people, hopefully, this article has shed some light on this matter for you!
Just remember, sex feels like a number of things, and it’s different for everyone. As long as you feel good when you’re having sex with someone and that person respects you and pleasures you, it’s all good!
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